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My Survivorship A to Z Guide

Emotional Well Being Essential

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Note: This is a sample Survivorship A to Z Guide for a fictitious person we call Ellen. She is just diagnosed with Breast Cancer. To view a summary of her answers which led to this Guide, click here.

To get your own free, computer-generated A to Z Guide, click here.

A diagnosis of Breast Cancer predictably brings emotional upheaval. There is no rhyme or reason that explains the order in which emotions show up, or when. In fact, more than one emotion may show up at a time.

Fear, anger, denial, frustration, guilt, withdrawal, hopelessness, grief, and depression are among the strong emotions that can show up. There is no predictable order or time for when these emotions show-up, or what triggers them. This is also true of tears.

An emotional roller coaster is normal.

Sometimes emotions even surface with more than one emotion at a time.

There will always be days with good news and days with bad news. Keeping that in mind will help make the bad news will be more bearable.

A diagnosis can make you feel very alone and distanced from your friends and family.

Emotions can be heightened by medical decisions that need to be made such as which specialist(s) to hire to treat your condition, which treatment to use, and whether to obtain a second or even third medical opinion. (Consumer advocates tend to advocate getting a second opinion for all important medical decisions).

Dealing with an insurance company and concern about finances can also heighten emotions.

Release emotions that surface before they affect your physical or mental health. Share them with family and friends -- and co-workers if you disclose your condition at work. If you don't do it for yourself, do it for the people who want to help. [Tell me more]

Bottling-up emotions and not talking about them can be injurious to your health.

Many people find release by writing down their thoughts - or incorporating them in their art. These can be totally private activities and available 24/7. Both of these expressions can also help you discover how you really feel.

If you are not used to sharing your feelings, it's time to learn. Your health is at stake.

  • Consider waiting to express your feelings to your family until you're more used to expressing them so you can balance the needs of the listener.
  • You can experiment with releasing your emotions in a non-threatening setting such as in a support group. 
    • Support Groups (also known as mutual self-help groups) are groups of people with the same health condition who come together for two compelling reasons: support and to learn practical information from people who are having, or who have had, similar experiences. Members help each other.
    • Support groups have a lot of benefits even if you have a lot of support from family and friends. Among other reasons to join a support group, studies indicate that support groups are good for your health. Some research shows that joining a support group improves quality of life and enhances survival. Support groups are also a good source of practical information about living with your health condition.
    • There are all kinds of support groups so the odds are there is at least one in which you will feel comfortable. (Your health care team may have suggestions about support groups near you.)

If needed, professional mental help therapists such as a social worker, psychologist or psychiatrist are available. 

On a personal basis, before sharing your emotions, decide which friends and family to tell about your diagnosis now. You can tell others later, if at all. 

At work, first decide whether to tell your boss and/or co-workers, and if so, which ones. Once you tell someone, you can't undo the telling.

These subjects are discussed further in the articles listed in "To Learn More."