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What To Discuss With A Healthcare Proxy

Step 2. Discuss with the person whether he or she is willing to act as your Proxy.

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Acting as your Proxy is not something to surprise someone with - not even an alternate proxy and not even if the person is your spouse. Some people, no matter how close they are to you, may have problems with the role and may not wish to undertake it.

As part of the request, consider mentioning what you would like the person to do for you. You don't have to be specific at this point. A general statement will do. For example: "I'd like you to think about being my Health Care Proxy. I trust you and I know you'll do what I need. We can discuss the specifics after you've thought about it. In general, I'd like you to know that if I become a vegetable, with no hope of recovery, I'd like you to pull the plug."

This will give the person time to think about your request and what it can mean.  Of course, if he or she understands the request and is agreeable, time to think about saying "yes" may not be needed.

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