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Communicating To Your Heirs Your Desires And Your Estate Plans

What To Include In The Discussion

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  • Where THE Book is: If you've put together a book, or similar file that contains information about your wishes and estate planning, let people know where it is located and what's in it. (See The BOOK).
  • Who has access to your Will: Your heirs should know who has access to your Will so they can immediately contact that person if necessary. (See Wills 101). 
  • Your Document Inventory: An easy method for keeping track of your documents and to let your heirs know where the important documents are, is to complete a Document Inventory and let your heirs know where it is.
  • Your List Of Instructions: Where you store this document that helps keep your life organized. (See List Of Instructions).
  • Your funeral plans: Make sure your family knows your funeral wishes and where to find documents relating to any pre-plans you've made. Even if you plan to live longer than Methuselah, you or they should also decide in advance who would be responsible for making the arrangements. (See Funerals 101).
  • What they need to know about what's in your Will. For instance, if your assets are unequally divided among your children, discuss your reasons in advance to help avoid unnecessary family fights.
  • Your wishes for use of your assets: Your Will is generally not the place to communicate anything beyond the facts of your bequests: who gets what. However, if appropriate, discuss with your heirs what you would like them to accomplish with your assets. For example, if you own a business, let them know the principles by which you think it should be guided, as well as the practical aspects of what you think should be done, what employees should be moved into what positions, and the like. See Business Owners.
  • Timing: Give your heirs an idea of when they will receive your assets. (See What Your Heirs Can Expect, Probate).
  • Disposition of Assets: Let your heirs know which assets you think they should keep and why. Suggest to your heirs that they do not make any important decisions about your assets while emotions are strong. If assets are to be sold, let them know what you think they're worth, how you suggest they be sold, and by whom if you have a choice. Estates generally sell assets for less than fair market value because the person who will receive the cash is often not the person who does the sale, and there may be a feeling of a need to rush the sale. Tell your heirs how to work with your personal representative to maximize the proceeds.
  • Life changes: General advice is to wait at least six months before making life-changing decisions. At all costs, quick, emotional decisions should be avoided.


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