You are here: Home General Post Treatment: ... Breast Cancer: ... Summary
Information about all aspects of finances affected by a serious health condition. Includes income sources such as work, investments, and private and government disability programs, and expenses such as medical bills, and how to deal with financial problems.
Information about all aspects of health care from choosing a doctor and treatment, staying safe in a hospital, to end of life care. Includes how to obtain, choose and maximize health insurance policies.
Answers to your practical questions such as how to travel safely despite your health condition, how to avoid getting infected by a pet, and what to say or not say to an insurance company.

Summary

For information about each of these subjects, click on the link::

NOTE: On a day to day basis, to help prevent a recurrence or another illness, it is advisable to do your best to eat a cancer prevention diet, get exercise and adequate rest, and to reduce stress. See: Cancer Prevention Diet And Lifestyle

Relationships change over time. Ask for help when you need it.

Your relationship with your spouse or partner, family and friends has likely evolved since treatment ended, and will likely continue to evolve over time as your and their needs shift. Family members or friends who took over chores for you may want life to go back to what it was before your treatment and still expect you to do what you used to do.

The longer since the end of treatment, the more likely family and friends assume you are okay. Let them know when you are not or when you need assistance.

Family and friendship concerns will likely lessen as the years go by.. Here are some ideas that have helped others deal with family concerns.

  • Let family and friends know what you are able to do and what not to expect you to do. For example, don't feel you must do all the chores you always did just because you always have in the past.
  • Accept help. When friends or family offer to help, say yes. Let them know things that they could do to make your life easier. In this way, you will get the support you need, and your loved ones will feel helpful.
  • Ask for help when you need it, including asking for help from your underage children. (It will help make them feel as if they are assisting your recovery).
  • Help the children in your family understand what you have been treated for and that it may take a while for you to have the energy you used to have.
  • Talk about your needs. Ask each family member to talk about their needs and concerns. Consider scheduling a weekly or monthly meeting. Don't let cancer be the 800 pound gorilla in the room that everyone knows is there, but no one talks about.
  • Keep in touch with friends. It will help relieve their anxiety about you.
  • If you are part of a couple, expect changes in your relationship and needs as time passes. A resource to consider, including exercises to help keep your relationship comfortable, is the American Cancer Society's book: Couples Confronting Cancer ($18.95 including shipping).

    If you need help dealing with family or friends, professional help is available. Particularly look for an expert on family roles and concerns after treatment.

    Reclaim every aspect of your life if you haven't already.

    Treatment can play havoc with your self image long after it ended. This includes how you see yourself in your relationship, as a sexual partner, physically, and in the work place.

    Reclaim yourself by taking the following steps:

  • Return to those parts of your old routine that still make sense to you. Start slowly and build up as you go.
  • Reassert control over as much of your life as you can.
  • Celebrate being here today and the things you can do. Let go of yesterday and what you were able to do.
  • Travel if you want. (Survivorship A to Z provides information for traveling as an educated consumer who has had breast cancer).
  • At work, take back activities you may have handed off to other people. Work on the parts of your "to do list" that you let slide. Keep your limitations in mind. There is a reason people still use the old adage "Rome wasn't built in a day."
  • Get back into your social world. Don't let the long term emotional or physical effects of breast cancer hold you back. Social support is important to quality of life and longevity.
  • Do what you can to make yourself look better and to feel better physically. We are back to the basics: eat right, exercise, take care of your oral health, get the rest you need, do what you can to keep a positive mental attitude. If you need help with make-up, contact the American Cancer Society's Look Good Feel Good program at 800.ACS.2345.
  • Renew romantic relationships. The incidence of separation and divorce is no higher for people with cancer than the general population. Still, the two of you have been through a stressful ordeal. Find time for just the two of you on a weekly basis. Maybe even try "dating" each other for awhile.
  • Regain physical intimacy.
  • Physical intimacy is important for human well being.
  • If you don't want to have sex for reasons other than your cancer, that's your choice. However, if you are refraining because of your cancer, or what the treatment did to your body, it is time to reexamine the issue.
  • If you are having any difficulty at all, speak with your cancer doctor or primary care physician. For example, women may have pain during intercourse or difficulty lubricating. Don't wait for your doctor to bring it up.
  • If you are single, starting dating again. There is no right or wrong about when to tell someone your cancer history.
  • If you had a mastectomy without reconstruction, or even if you had reconstruction, you have a new physical identity that may take some adjusting to. Keep in mind that only your physical appearance has changed - not you. The key to coping with the change is to how you see yourself. People in a similar situation suggest that you think of how you look as an emblem of your strength and fortitude.

    Take care with underage children.

    Children do not have any idea what to expect. Like the adults in your life, they likely expect that everything will return to the way it was.

    If physical or emotional symptoms continue, tell them about your ongoing needs in an age appropriate manner.

    Watch for reactions - including those that seem overboard for the immediate cause. It may be a substitute for fear that you may die.

    If you err on either side, do it on the side of caring too much. Under age children do not need to know about your continuing concerns about the future, or what could happen.

    Adolescent children may appear to be indifferent. Self absorption during adolescent years is a normal development. Each child will deal with fears about your health in his or her own way.

    If your experience with breast cancer comes up, let your children know:

  • You were scared too. Remind them you are fine now. You see the doctors to keep it that way.
  • That you will always be honest with them.
  • Tips for coping are the same as during treatment. For example:

  • Spend one-on-one time with each child.
  • Encourage each child to talk about how they felt during treatment and how they feel now.
  • Ask teachers to watch for behavioral problems.
  • Prepare to answer the question: "Are you cured mommy?" Be honest. For example, you can say something like: "I am okay now. I'm hopeful that I will stay that way."

    Children Who Were Preschool Or Were Adopted

    Children who were of preschool age when you went through treatment may not remember, and adopted children will not know about, your breast cancer and treatments.

    Never mentioning it adds stress to your life and adds unnecessary negativity to the episode. The children will know one day. It is better for you to be open about it.

    Children take their emotional cues from the adults in their lives. If you are okay and talk calmly about it, they are likely to be okay as well.

    Make what you do to stay healthy part of your everyday life. Be matter of fact about your cancer history and how it has prompted you to do what you can to stay healthy.

    NOTE:

  • As you will see in the Planning Ahead section, have arrangements in place to take care of your children in case you become sick and unable to take of them or if you die.
  • Consider writing an Ethical Will that passes on your life lessons and family history to your children.
  • Some women create scrap books or a journal that capture moments in time with their children. It is always a nice memory to have around even if you live a very long life.
  • If you want to have children, consider the options that are still open.

    Do not assume that you cannot have children if chemotherapy causes you to stop menstruating

    You may still be able to get pregnant.

    Use condoms.

    If you get pregnant, and breast cancer returns, you will face questions about the impact of cancer treatments on the fetus and about possibly terminating the pregnancy or risking your life.

    Pregnancy after Breast Cancer

    Pregnancy does not cause cancer. However, hormones that accompany pregnancy may hasten a recurrence.

    Current thought is that it is not advisable for a woman to get pregnant within three years after completion of treatment. It is seems to be okay to get pregnant if you are cancer free for at least three years. Many doctors prefer a wait of five years.

    Speak with your cancer doctor for information about your particular situation. You can find additional information from Young Survival Coalition (www.youngsurvival.org offsite link) and Fertile Hope (www.fertilehope.org) offsite link.

    Adoption

    Federal law (the Americans With Disabilities Act) prohibits discrimination against people with a disability. The law covers adoption agencies. Your breast cancer may or may not be considered to be a disability for purposes of the ADA.

    Whether it is covered or not, expect that an adoption agency will want clarification on your health status and the possibility of a recurrence. At least a letter from your cancer doctor will likely be required. Do not be surprised if the agency requests that you want for a few years after end of treatment before adopting.

    Surrogate Mom

    If you are still able to carry a baby, you can carry some one else's baby. Speak with your doctor.