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Information about all aspects of finances affected by a serious health condition. Includes income sources such as work, investments, and private and government disability programs, and expenses such as medical bills, and how to deal with financial problems.
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Summary

SEE THE OTHER SECTIONS OF THIS ARTICLE FOR MORE INFORMATION

Even with a diagnosis of colorectal cancer that is contained in the colon and can be eliminated, a diagnosis of any type of cancer brings a variety of feelings such as anger or fear. Feelings surface in no particular order, often more than one at a time, and often like a roller coaster.

You may also feel isolated from people around you who have not been diagnosed.

To help with the emotions you are feeling and those you are likely to experience, consider the following:

  • Accept your feelings. Do not try to suppress them.
  • Express your feelings even if you are a man and the culture in which you live encourages men to keep emotions to themselves.
    • Alternatives for expressing yourself include speaking with other people individually or in a group, speaking with a mental health professional, writing down your feelings or expressing them in art.
    • If you have a significant other, it is especially important to express your feelings to him or her.
  • Use whatever techniques helped you get through difficult periods in the past. In addition, consider time tested techniques that help with different specific feelings that have helped other people. For example, the following phrases have become cliches for good reason:
"Take one day at a time."
"Take an hour at a time."
"Take a moment at a time."
  • During the inevitable waiting periods, keep tips in mind that have helped other people cope. For example, keep busy.
    • If you get stuck in a down mode or if emotions begin to impact your daily life:
    • Let your doctor know. He or she may be able to help with medications.
  • Professional counseling is available. This is particularly important to keep in mind if you become so anxious and frightened that your emotions affect your ability to function or to think clearly. A consultation with a professional will help reduce your anxiety enough that you can participate in the decision making process.

During the first days after a diagnosis, it can be helpful to speak with a neutral, sympathetic and knowledgeable counselor. Your doctor may have such a person to recommend. Or consider calling a hotline at Colon Cancer Alliance or Cancer Care which has a call center staffed by oncology social workers that are knowledgeable in all types of cancer. Tel.: 800.813.4673 (Mon-Thursday from 9AM to 7PM ET and on Friday from 9AM to 5PM ET).

  • There is no reason to go through this experience alone. Potential sources of support include:
    • Family and friends
    • Co-workers
    • Support groups and self help groups. For instance, the Colon Cancer Alliance’s online community. (www.MyCRCConnections.ning.com) offsite link
    • A buddy with cancer like yours with a similar age and lifestyle. You can find a buddy who is in or has gone through a similar situation via the buddy program of the Colon Cancer Alliance (www.ccalliance.org/volunteer/buddy_program.html) offsite link, a social worker at the treatment facility or a nurse in your doctor's office.
  • As you will see in our documents about telling other people about your diagnosis, you do not have to tell everyone at once. Whether it is family, friends or co-workers, the news can provoke strong emotional reactions. Begin with people who will respond in a helpful way - perhaps a person who will simply listen without making a lot of suggestions or trying to take charge.
  • Work on having an attitude of realistic optimism. This is generally referred to as a positive attitude. Don't beat yourself up when you don't feel positive. Instead, work on changing your thoughts to positive ones.
  • Look for humor each day.
  • Think about getting a pet - yes, a pet.

Experience indicates that you will feel more confident and in control as you come to terms with your feelings, start to coordinate your support team, and start to learn about your treatment options.

NOTE:

  • Allow time for your emotions to settle before making important decisions such as which treatment(s). There is generally time. (For more information, see the document which applies to you:Colorectal Cancer: Newly Diagnosed: Managing Your Medical Care.
  • Keep in mind that spouses and significant others are likely also on an emotional roller coaster. While your needs come first, keep theirs in mind. If their needs become difficult, consider suggesting professional counseling, or at least a support group for spouses/significant others.
  • If the holidays are difficult for you because of your diagnosis of colorectal cancer, click here for tips about getting through it.
  • There is likely to be less stress if you follow a road map for dealing with the other aspects of life post diagnosis so you're not concerned about unnecessary surprises. The following documents deal with the other aspects of your life affected by your diagnosis:
    • Newly Diagnosed With Colorectal Cancer: Work Issues
    • Newly Diagnosed With Colorectal Cancer:  Stages 0,I        
    • Newly Diagnosed With Colorectal Cancer: Insurance:  Stages 0,I   
    • Newly Diagnosed With Colorectal Cancer: Finances: Stages 0,I  
    • Newly Diagnosed With Colorectal Cancer: Planning Ahead (including legal affairs) 
    • Newly Diagnosed With Colorectal Cancer: Government Benefits  Stages 0,1  
    • Newly Diagnosed With Colorectal Cancer: Medical Care

How To Get Through Waiting Periods

FOR INFORMATION ABOUT THESE SUBJECTS, SEE THE OTHER SECTIONS OF THIS DOCUMENT

Waiting is part of modern medicine. Waiting for test results. Waiting for an appointment. Waiting for treatment to begin or for treatment to be effective.

Waiting can be awful. For some people, the anxiety is worse than physical pain.

Following are some time tested ideas that have worked for people to make the wait easier. 

  • Try to schedule tests and dates with your doctor to minimize the waiting period.
  • Ask that the test results be sent to your doctor as soon as possible.
  • If a test is a routine one, don't wait for your doctor to order it when the two of you are together. Instead, take it before you see the doctor so you and the doctor can review the results together at your visit. For example, have blood drawn a week before your scheduled appointment.
  • Keep yourself busy, especially on weekends.
    • Maintain your daily schedule.
    • Catch up on all the movies you haven't seen yet - including those on DVD.
    • Read a fast moving book.
    • Research your condition if it helps.
    • Don't sit home alone. Spend time with the people who love and support you.
    • Do the household chores that require your focus so that time disappears without notice. For example, clean out closets and junk drawers. Do that repair that you keep putting off.
  • Keep a balance in your life.
    • Include activities that make you feel good.
    • Include activities that keep your attention.
  • Take advantage of your support systems.
  • Take care of yourself:
  • Enlist the help of a higher power. Let go and turn the situation over to a higher power. Pray.
  • Use stress reduction techniques. For example:
  • Live in the moment.
  • Use your mind to reframe what is happening.
  • Try to think positively. Recognize negative thoughts and try to change them. For information about how to work to stay on the positive side, click here.
  • Don't make rash decisions or open the spending spigot.
  • Watch for signs of depression or out of control anxiety. If they appear, there are tips to help. Click here for tips about depression and here for tips about anxiety. For instance, if the anxiety becomes too difficult, ask your doctor for a drug to help ease the anxiety.
  • Keep in mind that you have managed to live until today. You have proved that you have the coping skills to deal with whatever comes along.

Think About Getting A Pet. Yes, A Pet.

Pets are not a substitute for communicating with other people in a similar situation, support groups or therapists. However, they are good for emotional health and have been shown to increase longevity.

A pet doesn't have to be a dog or a cat, and it doesn't have to be an attention requiring puppy or kitten.

If now isn't the time to get a pet, it may be a good time to start planning for when things calm down. (If you want to find out what having a dog is like, many animal shelters are looking for volunteers to walk dogs or to foster care a pet.)

NOTE:

  • If you have a landlord who prohibits pets, you may be able to have one as an accommodation under the Americans With Disabilities Act.
  • Survivorship A to Z provides advice about how to live with a pet including how not to get any kind of infection from them, how to travel, whether to get pet insurance etc. Please see "To Learn More."

To Learn More

More Information

Pets 101

Accept Your Emotions

  • Allow the contradictions and complexities of being human.
  • Seek control where it is possible. For example:
    • Work on changing your thoughts 
    • Distract yourself by engaging in an activity that takes all your attention and makes time fly by without noticing it.
    • Clean out a closet or junk drawer or even a garage/cellar. At least you will have something to show for your energy that will make you feel good.
  • Find acceptance where control cannot be found.
  • Do your best to live in the moment. Fearing tomorrow only ruins today.

 

To Learn More

More Information

Emotional Well Being

Emotions That Surface After A Diagnosis And How To Cope With Them

Initial reactions to a diagnosis of colorectal cancer are as individual as the person.

One of the most frequent feelings is denial which can show up with such thoughts as "This can't be right"; "This can't be happening to me"; "They must have confused my results with someone else's". Denial can actually be good because it gives you a chance to adjust to a new reality. Still, don't let it go on so long that you don't seek treatment by the best doctors in a timely manner.

Emotions do not surface in any particular order. In fact, you may experience more than one feeling at the same time.

Emotions can come and go. Emotions have a beginning, a middle and an end. This moment will pass.

There are likely be ups and downs like a roller coaster.

Don't be afraid to feel your emotions.

If you experience any of the following feelings, click on the link to learn techniques that have helped people cope:

Start Looking For Support

Experience shows that there is nothing quite like speaking with another person who is going through the same thing that you are. There are a variety of alternatives for finding such a person.

  • Look for a cancer buddy - another person with colorectal cancer. Only another person who has just been diagnosed with colorectal cancer or who has been there really knows what you feel. The person doesn't have to be nearby. You can make contact on the telephone or over the internet.
    • You can make contact with such a person through the Colon Cancer Alliance by calling 877.422.2030.
    • You can also make connections through your specialist, a social worker or a nurse at your doctor's office.
  • This is a good time to start exploring a support group or self help group of other people with colorectal cancer.
    • A support group is a group of people with a similar situation, led by a professional. A self help group is the same except members run the group.
    • In addition to emotional support, members learn valuable practical information.
    • There are all kinds of support groups. You can participate in a support group in person, on the telephone and on the internet. You can generally remain anonymous if  that makes you feel more comfortable.
    • For a list of colorectal cancer support groups, click here.
    • If there is no group that works for you, consider starting your own. (An excellent description of how to start your own group, including tips for first meetings and how to make a group work, is located at: www.selfhelp.on.ca/start.html offsite link)
    • Young people with colorectal cancer should also check out the following organizations:

NOTE If you have children aged 6 -- 13, Camp Kesem is a college student run summer camp for children with a parent who has (or has had) cancer. The camps are in various locations around the country. The camps offer a one week sleep away. To learn more, see:www.CampKesem.org offsite link

Express Your Feelings

  • Do not keep emotions to yourself.

  • Tell your family and close friends what you are feeling. This is particularly important with respect to a spouse or partner.

  • Express yourself in whatever way works for you. Talking is only one way to express emotions. Also consider such means as:

    • Writing in a private journal or on a blog. (See "To Learn More" to learn about keeping a journal).

    • Art

    • Handicrafts

To Learn More

More Information

How To Keep A Journal

Do Whatever Helped You in the Past

Think about the techniques you used in the past to get through emotional periods. If the technique worked before, it is likely to work again.

A few examples may help trigger thoughts about what works for you:

  • Carl builds things.

  • Jamie cleans.

  • Terry created a corner of his home that felt sacred with a few candles and some fresh flowers. He spent about 10 minutes a day in his peaceful corner taking deep breaths, giving himself pep talks, and saying prayers.

Work On Having A Positive Attitude

Every moment we have on earth is a gift to be treasured. Having a positive attitude make each moment better. It also helps get through the difficult times such as down moments during treatment.

Negativity is time consuming unproductive and saps energy.

Don’t just ignore negativity. Go a step further and substitute negative thoughts with positive thoughts and actions. Thoughts are self generated and can be changed.

Part of a positive attitude is the determination that you are going to do everything you can to survive and thrive the best you can.

A positive attitude also understands that there is always a reason for hope.

No matter how positive you are, there will be down moments and down days. Do what you can to get past them - then move on.

Humor helps people stay positive. It helps to look for humor wherever you can find it.  (Comedians find humor in even the more dire situations. You can too.)

Think about a mindset that provides an underpinning for moving forward that works for you. Your mindset will help determine the actions you do and do not take. For example:

  • Is this a battle you are entering into? If it is a battle, an effective general would understand that this is a major battle, with a life at stake. There's an "us". There's an enemy. As a general, you would use every asset you have - and figure out how to get those you don't have so you can throw into the battle as well.

  • Is this a business problem? If so, a CEO would identify the goal, consider what is necessary to reach the goal, think through what problems are foreseeable and take steps to reduce them, be prepared for unexpected problems etc.

  • Is this a personal challenge?

  • Are you the owner of an apartment building with the need to evict a tenant?

  • Is it preferable to think that you are fightingforyourself rather than think you are fightingagainstan illness?

There will be time to start looking for a deeper meaning in this experience. The key right now is to get through each moment as well as you can.

For more information about keeping a positive attitude, see "To Learn More."

To Learn More

Look For Humor On A Daily Basis

Laughter has both physical and emotional benefits. Studies show that humor helps keep people healthy.

Humor can also make life better:

  • Laughter can release endorphins that make you feel better (the same effect you get from exercising).

  • Laughter is a mild aerobic exercise for the stomach and face muscles.

  • Laughter can help relieve the blues and/or depression. It can also help minimize fear and anxiety.

Studies using MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) machines indicate that even faked laughter has health benefits.

Dr. Norman Cousins believed that laughter was a major factor in helping him to heal. To learn more, see his book: ANATOMY OF AN ILLNESS. You can get an inexpensive used copy from such online booksellers as www.bn.com offsite link

If humor is missing from your life, there are many easy-to-access ways you can bring it in. For example, by watching current or old comedy reruns on television. For more information, see the document in To Learn More.

What To Do If You Get Stuck In A Down Mode

If you get stuck in a negative emotion for more than two or three days:

  • Talk with your doctor. He or she may prescribe anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medications.